


requiem

by solidteflon



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, F/M, she also can play guitar, veronica reflects on the past few months
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 04:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16527356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solidteflon/pseuds/solidteflon
Summary: she hates him.she misses him.





	requiem

the trenchcoat is draped carelessly on your blue chair, head in hands as you flop on your bed with ease. all you want to do is sleep. you’re tired, sore, & still covered in dirt, the soot from the explosion still on your face & clothes. yes, you  _ did _ hang out with martha & heather mac for a while, but decided to turn in early. your parents were worried sick when you came home, seeing as how you look like complete shit, but they agreed to talk about it in the morning.

 

eyes glance over to the trenchcoat & you can’t help but sigh as tears blur your vision. no, you shouldn’t be mourning him. he doesn’t deserve your goddamned pity or tears. he was a jerk. a manipulative, calculated, cocky jerk. yet you loved him. if he hadn’t noticed you that day, if he kept his fucking promise maybe he would still be around. you could have gotten him some help. you could have been two normal teenagers, not some fucked up modern day bonnie & clyde.

 

but of course he had to break that promise.

 

_ he had to break your trust. _

 

you look around your room to find any sort of distraction, anything to take your mind off today’s events. then you spot your guitar. you haven’t touched it since you left lessons to focus on school. you hesitate, but ultimately grab it, a small bit of dust flying in the air. the bed creaks under your weight as fingers grasp the pick. simple chords fill the one peaceful silence of your room, your trembling voice articulating what your whirling mind cannot.

 

_ cause i cannot play the grieving girl & _

_ lie saying that i miss you & _

_ that my world has gone dark... _

 

you’re angry & frustrated, hurt & confused. none of this is _fucking fair_. you just wanted everyone at your school to get along, to not bully one another, to be kind & caring. you wanted life to be beautiful. it still can be, but not right now. not when you’re crumbling under the weight of everything that’s happened in the past few months. the guitar is clutched even tighter to your chest, like a stuffed animal or something to give you a sense of comfort.

 

_ i will sing no requiem. _

 

you find irony in the fact that this song  _ is _ a requiem. a requiem of pain & anger that you’ve kept bottled up inside for hours. back at martha’s, you pretended everything was fine, that  _ you _ were fine when in reality you were about to rip at the seams. you only left because if you stayed any longer the guilt would become too much & you would tell them  _ everything _ . you couldn’t have that. it might take days or months or years, but you’ll tell them when you’re ready to do so. just not right now. not when everything is still fresh in your mind. you go to sing the next verse, but stifle a sob.  _ don’t break down, don’t break down….  _ tears now run freely down your face, eyes squeezed shut to prevent more from escaping. a few beats of silence pass & you find yourself strumming the guitar once more. your voice is barely above a whisper, choked with emotion.

 

_ i will sing no requiem. _

 

without another word, chord, or sob, you set the guitar down & crawl under the covers, trenchcoat clutched firmly in your grasp as the tears soak your pillow. you loved him, you hated him, you wanted him gone forever. now it seems you have your wish. he’s dead & here you are, grieving for that asshole when you shouldn’t. you should not be mourning for jason dean.

 

_ i will sing no requiem… _

_ tonight. _


End file.
